In Shambles, A disarrayed life...

Emotional Instability

2006-09-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

It really burns me when I care about someone, and all I get in return is a cold shoulder.

I try so hard to be nice, accomodating and caring...But it doesn't seem to be enough.

What am I?

A rag doll?

To be thrown about as and when it seems convenient?

I feel so hurt.

But no one cares.

Guess I should go back to being my old self. A void where no emotion could affect me....

Yeah. Sounds like a good plan. I don't need anyone.

I've stood alone for so long, I can do it again.

I need no one.

A night of sin and splendour

2006-09-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

Lol. NOT!

But I did get you reading :D

The bunch of us went out yesterday to meet up...Coz Nigel is leaving for Reading this coming Wednesday.

So to customary Chilli's we went :D

And the best part was that Datin Matilda joined us!! (she's our teacher advisor for the newsletter we founded back in high school)

She's such a fun fun fun teacher. And seeing her dressed so casually was kinda odd at first. Likë, "Where's the severe looking Datin Matilda?"

Lol

Well it's not really that bad actually. She does look MUCH younger now.

I think I ate till I could barely walk! Haha. So much for a diet :P

Talked quite a bit (well they talked quite a bit - I listened more :P). It was a fun outing basically. Met up with friends, catching up with our beloved teacher. Laughing like maniacs :P

Nigel however, being oh-so-Nigel, had to actually leave early!

I mean, there we were celebrating, being merry and stuff, and he just decided that he had to zip away!

Well he did have not 1, not 2 but FIVE girls awating him...AT his house. Whatever for? Ask me not. Use your imaginations instead :P

(ok fine fine...It's for his Malaysian Society meeting-he's the president. But one does wonder as to why he's the only male meeting FIVE other females eh? ;) )

We went for mamak after sending Datin home. I was too tired to actually participate in the conversation. Lol.

So yeah. That's pretty much what happened recently.

Trying not to write something emo for a bit. I'm getting to be too...Soft :P

I'll update pics when I actually have a better connection than the one I have in uni.

Oh yeah, I'm in uni btw. This place sucks :(

Home is where the heart is

2006-09-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

I was going through my bunch of keys the other day after having gotten a new set of locks...

When going through the keys, I noticed this copy of a key I keep for someone I...Care about.

So in trying to remember which key goes where, (as I've two identical looking keys - one for my gate and one for the front door) I noticed the front door key is nearer to that person's key, while the gate key is further.

And I was saying to myself, coincidentally, at the point where I was holding the door key:

"Home is where the heart is"

And it just hit me.

Usually when people say that, they mean, their home (that is to say their house), is where their heart is.

In my situation though, that certainly isn't the case. Yet when I said that, those words popped in my head, and meant something entirely different.

Home, is where the heart is.

What's so different though?

When you love someone so much, with every fibre of your being, with your heart and soul, then your heart, is WITH that person.

And because of that, that person IS your home. Wherever that person is, wherever she (or he) is, that place will be your home.

Dreams..,

2006-09-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever not want to go to sleep because you can't take the dreams?

Dreams that seem so much better than reality?

Have you ever not want to wake up from that dream? You just wish that the dream could be real? So that you'd not have to be so acquainted with sorrow?

Dreams that seem so real, that your heart ache with such regret, that the dream could not be? That dream will remain but a memory...A memory that would vanish with time...

Sigh.

I'm afraid to sleep nowadays.
For sleep brings about dreams.
And dreams brings about memories.
Memories best left forgotten.

But the body can only allow so little of sleep...

Sweet Disaster

2006-08-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

My life seems to be in limbo currently. Too many things happening on the emotional front.

And to top that, two of my closest friends are leaving :(

Nigel's going back to Reading (no he isn't gonna go back to membaca something :P Ok ok lame I know *Chiong's gonna be so proud of me*)

Larnee's leaving as well.

Sobs.

Only a few select friends would still be here.

Sigh.

Something I wrote recently:

Betrayer of hope,
Bringer of darkness,
Prophet of doom,
Forever in sorrow's embrace...

And that,

Is what I feel best represents me...

Streamyx is here

2006-07-11T05:16:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I'm not as excited anymore. Lost it's magic already. Not in the mood now.

Nothing seems to be going my way. Sigh.

Blood and bloody ashes...

2006-06-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

So much for broadband freedom.

My modem got fried (I think). Will be dropping by the office of the agent I got it from. Bloody hell. So much for broadband bliss.

A New Era Has Come

2006-06-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

Eh? What new era?

The era of broadband. The era of highspeed internet connection. The era where my broadband-forsaken place finally receives the light of salvation.

I GOT STREAMYX

w00t!

So yeah. I'm now surfing, and oh downloading some music (yes music dammit, not something else. And sweet mother, it doesn't lag my surfing!

So yes. No heads rolled in the making of "Mission: Get Streamyx".

:D

I'm happy!

Mission: Get Streamyx

2006-06-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

I went to pay the phonebill recently, which by the way, was a whopping RM 900 (RM 600 of that thanks to my dial-up bill), and took the oppurtunity to ask those morons at Telekom if they finally had streamyx. I actually had to queue just to check. Just to bloody check if I had bloody streamyx.

But heck. If I was gonna get streamyx, might as well be patient-I've been what? 3 years patient? What's a few minutes more right?

Finally it was my turn. I smiled my charming smile (okok, so it's not that charming :P), and (with a voice that I was proud to note did not tremble), asked the golden question Is my area streamyx-ready?. I gave her my number (no she didn't give me hers :P) and waited for her to oh-so-delicately key in the 8 digits. In the mean time, my heart was beating like a sub woofer on steroids.

It took, say, 5 seconds? But god did it felt long! Those few seconds felt like an eternity!

Someone up there must love me *grin*. I got streamyx! She delivered the magical words of "Yes sir, your area's streamyx-ready". I could've kissed her. Despite her being a penguin, I still could've kissed her. Lol.

But...There was something gnawing at the back of my mind. Didn't they say I had it the last time...Only to find that it was one big fat lie? Heh. Suddenly the sun shone too bright. The chirping of the birds became annoying, and the breeze was too strong.

I wasn't convinced. Told her so. Told her off actually, of their incompetency the last time. Well she chekced with the buggeres upstairs, another 5 seconds that felt like a liftime. I was closely following her facial expression...

Please god. Let her smile!

And she did! Oh the joy! The euphoria! 3 friggin years of waiting finally came to an end!!

I would've been her slave then. Lol.

So yeah. Happy happy. Went around finding for an agent that could give me some promotion. Ironically, couldn't find any in trusty ol' Ampang Point (funny enough, those buggers are ALWAYS there whenever I don't friggin have Streamyx!)

Was gonna go to Sungai Wang anyway, figured, what the heck, just give it a shot there instead.

Went to the IT floor and voila! There it was-the desolate looking streamyx booth! Never had it looked so inviting before :P

So I went up to the person, had a little chat, and registered :D

Feeling really happy, I didn't even care they didn't have the streamyx-in-box. The guy said they'll call me to arrange the date of installation - which should be by saturday. Happy happy. Didn't really care I couldn't get it then and there.

I was gonna get streamyx! Yay! :D :D

So okay...Come friday...And no phone call.Fine. Perhaps they didn't have the stock yet. I'll be a good boy and wait for saturday.

Come saturday. Still no phone call. Oklah...Maybe they wanna take a holiday too. I'll wait for monday.

Come monday. Where the fuck is the fucking phone call?

You know how fucking annoying it is to wait one whole day for a phone call and not get it?

If it the damned phone call doesn't come by tomorrow, heads are gonna roll...

The Fast and The Furious : Tokyo Drift

2006-06-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

Holy shit. This movie is beyond awesome *drools*

Well fine, it isn't all that good if you take into consideration the fact that almost none of them could act to save their pathetic existence, the lame attempt of inserting some sort of sob story into a I'll-be-damned-if-I-don't-race-in-half-of-the-movie, very little character development, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

So what's my point?

This movie is about cars. Fast, sweet-looking cars. So you'll get a good deal of fast cars going really fast at impossible twist and turns (read: drift) looking gorgeous, and hot-drop-dead-gorgeous(ok fine not gorgeous, but still mouth-watering) japanese girls *drools*

What more could you ask for? Hot cars + hotter girls? :D

So what are you waiting for? Get youself off that sorry ass of yours and go watch the movie!

Another Boring Entry

2006-05-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

Second post. Wow. Congrats *pats self on the back* :P

Ok. So more inane mutterings. Really have anyone to flame as of yet. Oh wait. I will later...But not just yet. I'm not in the mood for it tonight. :P

Let's see...Went to watch X3 today. It was only good because they totally derailed it from the original story. Like, *warning, spoilers ahead* Prof X friggin dies. And the antidote is friggin real. And rogue has like, no powers. What happened to the but kicking, flying rouge? Oh let's not mention storm being a lame "oh-my-god-i'm-getting-my-ass-kicked?" I'm sure Halle Berry is hot and all that-she does have a fine...(Let's not continue for the sake of decency eh?)...Oh wait, how bout Wolverine's pants *refusing* to be disintegrated; despite Jean's multiple attempts to disintegrate him (his skin however, is not as durable as that pants-those suits are damn good eh?). Jean (or perhaps more phoneix is more apt a name) keeps on *whoosh*ing him with her awesome power and he just patiently walks towards her, getting his suit ripped in many places, even his skin and flesh (they even went as far as to show his adamantium (if that's how it's spelt) bones). But his pants persists on staying on!

But yeah. The movie kinda sucked logic-wise, but heck, the ideas of mutant isn't really something all together logical is it? :P

Action-wise, the movie was not bad. Not really heart stopping great but neither is it lame. And I have to place emphasis (again) on how the fact that the movie derailed from the original storyline actually helped in making the movie bearable :P

Well that's enough of X3 I guess :P Oh wait, I kinda thought the girl who could go through walls was adorable (read:adorable, not hot) :P

And she had artfully messy hair, and that's like so loveable :P

Speaking of girls with messy hair, I read the paper the other day and apparently it's in. Sigh. Why does something I like have to be turned mainstream? *sigh*

But anyway, yeah, girls with messy hair (artfully messy mind you) are just like, plain hot. Especially if it's up in a bun. Oh and add halter necks to that...Oooh...irresistable! *wipes drool* Like how Kiera Knightly looked like in the posters for Pride and Prejudice. Like omg. She the goddess...*sigh* I do believe I'm in love :P

*Ahem* ok ok. Composed now :P

Considering I've nothing more to ramble on...I'm gonna stop here :P

First Post...After a long time

2006-05-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

Finally started a proper blog. The one on friendster, though was great fun while it lasted, just didn't give me enough room to blog. What with the stupid restriction on my oh-so-wonderful uni.

No mood to blog as of now. So I'll just ramble about inane things :P

Going to watch X3 this thursday. Hopefully we'll actually make it.

Been spending a hell lot of money recently. What with 4 KSC 75 (that's a koss for the uninitiated. What's koss? It's a brand for headphones :P In this case, the 75's are a pair of clip ons), a Philips SHE 9501 (That's in-ear phones), a soon to be HP 895, a Sijosae Class AB headphone amp...and a bunch of stuff. Sigh. Maybe I should work. But mother dearest won't allow it though.

Should be studying. God knows I need to. Just haven't found the urge to just yet. I should push myself harder. Sigh

Did weights. Now arms feel like lead. Can't straighten left arm properly without letting out a blood curdling scream (well perhaps not all that bad, though it does hurt a LOT.

Mahesa just thought me how to use html coding and stuff. Pretty cool. Gua tabik sama lu! :P

K I'm really running out of what to say. So I'm gonna stop here.

Oh btw, this is my old blog on friendster. Did quite a bit of flaming there :P